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7 Completely Useless Tips For Surviving Self Isolation

7 Completely Useless Tips For Surviving Self Isolation

It may not be the advice you asked for, but hey, if it puts a smile on your face that's the main thing.

Find out the best most interesting recommendations for surviving self-isolation at home.


Tip 1 

Regularly move your furniture around so it feels like you’re in a completely different house, or alternatively, brush your teeth with your other hand so you feel like you’re a completely different person.

Tip 2 

If you find it weird not having a commute in the morning, recreate the experience by farting in that really small cupboard that only stores a broom and then cram yourself in there for about 45 minutes while you listen to a podcast about people who’ve made the career change you’ve always been too scared to make yourself.

Tip 3 

Assemble your plants as an audience in your kitchen and do a cooking show for them every time you make food. This has the triple benefit of you ending up with food, some new friends and also feeling like a celebrity chef.

Tip 4 

You can’t go to the pub any more so instead, fill up two glasses of water and go “WHO WANTS A DRINK!?” to all your plants after the cooking show. Then give them all a watering. These are your only friends now.

Tip 5 

When you’ve worked out what you’re going to cook for dinner, pretend to call yourself and book a table, ask about the vegetarian options for no good reason and request a table by the window, while looking directly at your table at the window. Then say ‘Sure, I think we can handle that, got you booked for 7:30’.

Tip 6 

If you’re missing trips to your local busy cafe, every time you go to make yourself a coffee just ignore yourself and forget your own order.

Tip 7 

Draw some eyes and a little smiley face on your kettle. This is Kevin, he’s your new best friend.



This blog first appeared on Medium.



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